


Not Quite Birthday

by Mahokoyuki



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Angst, Communication, Getting Together, Letters, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:20:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23047672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mahokoyuki/pseuds/Mahokoyuki
Summary: I’m writing to you on your birthday alone in the desert.  It’s funny though because everywhere I look I see you.  Our rides, our talks, watching the stars.  I can still hear your voice when I think of the times you told me the stories of constellations.To be honest though, I thought about you a lot before you left.
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10
Collections: Shiro Birthday Exchange 2020





	Not Quite Birthday

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Draycarla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draycarla/gifts).



> Shiro birthday exchange gift for Draycarla. Hope you enjoy ^_^

He'd been ignoring him. Shiro knows it probably isn't anything personal but since the war ended and things were starting to return to some semblance of normal, there was hope that he and Keith could sit down and catch up.

There were many things to talk about. Shiro had a lot of time to think while in the astral plane, time seemingly not moving as his thoughts drifted through space. Keith was a popular topic. Their friendship, their bond. Keith's support when he and Adam fell apart, Keith being the first person he saw upon waking back on Earth. 

Shiro tapped the pen on his desk. He felt constrained since things calmed down. Stuck in these four walls while Atlas sat unneeded, while Black and the other lions left Earth for something he and the Paladins could only guess about. Lance had a certain hope, but everyone else kept their expectations low. For all they knew, they may never see the lions again.

The thought brought forth a frown. Shiro regretted not giving Black away properly. He was present in a way the day Keith sat in the cockpit begging not to be chosen. Shiro reassured Black that he was the one, that he trusted no else more. Since his return though everything moved so fast, trying to get home, trying to sort through his feelings, adjusting to being back in the world. Before he knew it, Keith felt like an acquaintance. Their communication dwindling to giving or relaying orders, strategizing, and brief moments of eye contact where they would nod or ask if the other was okay. They both always said they were, even if Shiro is sure they weren't.

Now he had the chance to bridge that gap and get his friend back. Shiro signed the last document, checked his email one more time to see Iverson's request for a meeting in the morning, then he left. He was thankful for the job, knowing he was doing doing some good helping people get situated and rebuild as well as contributing to Earth's defense. The people were still wary knowing that countless worlds were out there. Not everyone could be friendly. Right now though, Shiro wanted to find Keith and go for a ride on the old hover-bikes and just enjoy himself again. Enjoy spending time with Keith. He pushed away thoughts of missed opportunities during the Clear Day festival, opting to work rather than take his own advice. Just like before they left Earth when he told everyone to spend time with the ones they loved…

It didn't take long for Shiro to find Keith. Oddly enough he ran into him on his way back to his room to change. Keith was outside his door, hand raised to knock when Shiro called out to him. Shiro couldn't help the rise of hope within himself. Was Keith wanting to reach out too? Did he feel the same?

“Shiro, hey.” Keith looked away, Kosmo trotting up beside him.

“Hey.” Awkward. Why did this feel so awkward? Where did that easiness go? “What's up?”

“I just got an email from Iverson about that meeting. I was planning on doing a test run with the MFE's in that customized Galra ship Hunk finished working on. I'm going to move it up earlier to accommodate. Think you have time to oversee it before the meeting?”  
More work talk. Shiro tried to stamp down his disappointment.

“I don't mind.”

“Great.” A pause. “I'll uh, see you at 05:00 then?”

Shiro nodded and Keith turned, his hand grasping Kosmo's fur, and Shiro couldn't help it anymore. He was going to fix this. Keith was the most important person in his life. No more stalling, no more uncertainty.

“Keith, wait!” Shiro was relieved when Keith did stop and look back at him. He took a moment to notice Keith wasn't in his Blade uniform, but rather dressed down. Jeans, a worn black t-shirt, his favorite jacket-

“Shiro?”

“Are you busy tonight?” Shiro blurted. He caught himself so off guard he felt heat creep up his neck. Keith just blinked at him. “We could get dinner? Catch up?”

“Catch up?” Keith repeated, sounding unsure. “I was about to head to the shack actually. Go through it, clean it out…”

“I can help you.” Shiro offered, undeterred. He couldn’t, wouldn’t put this off any longer.

Keith looked between Shiro and Kosmo, thinking. “Alright-“

“Great! Let me get changed and we’ll take some hover bikes.”

“Shiro...we both have to be up early and I want to get this done before Krolia gets back in a few days.” Shiro fought back the disappointment crawling up his chest. “I’ll go ahead and then send Kosmo back for you-“

“No, it’s fine. I can go as is. You’ll get it done even faster the sooner I can help.” Shiro slowly placed his hand on Kosmo, giving Keith enough time to decline again, if he didn’t really want him there.  
Instead, Keith turned away some. 

“Thanks, Shiro.” The ghost of a smile on his face didn’t go unnoticed by Shiro before the world fell away around them.  
—  
The shack looked pretty unchanged from what Shiro could remember of being there before. Maybe a few more boxes, a bit more dust. His eyes lingered on the couch where he had woken up after finally returning to Earth. Keith had been asleep beside him, head on the cushion from his seat on the floor. It felt like a lifetime ago, both being here and having Keith so close.

“I’ve already got some of my dad’s stuff packed up. Things from when I was young and things Krolia might want to look through and keep…” Keith sighed. “Basically if it looks broken or like trash then toss it in the can. Everything else can go in this box.” Keith gestured to a mostly empty box by the desk. “Papers too, if it looks important just make a pile next to the box and I’ll for through it later though there shouldn’t be much. I didn’t exactly have any letters coming from the Garrison out here.” He tried to joke but Shiro could only nod. 

It broke his heart at first when he learned Keith left the Garrison but now he’s glad he did. Keith was always meant for so much more. 

“Why now?” He had to ask. “Why not just...leave things here? The Garrison isn’t going to bother it. We could get some cameras, a security system—“

“It’s time for me to move on.” Keith interrupted. He looked up, closed his eyes and took a breath. “I’ll be outside. I’ve got someone coming to get those tires and spare parts tomorrow afternoon. Gonna try and clean them up a bit then I’ll join you.”

Shiro decided not to push. “I’ll be right here.” 

Keith gave him a long, inscrutable look, then left Shiro to his devices. This wasn’t exactly what he’d hoped for since they wouldn’t even be near each other but it was a start.

The map had already been torn down, along with the sticky notes that decorated it. Shiro wondered, as he decluttered the desk, if Keith kept it. Like a memento of finding the blue lion and beginning their journey. He threw away old pens, rusty screws, and found a physics book tucked away in a drawer.  
When Shiro pulled the desk out some to make sure nothing fell behind it was when he found it. An unassuming folder covered in dust, lost and forgotten behind the desk. Shiro picked it up, surprised at the thickness of it. He was about to take it outside before something fell out of it. 

Shiro picked up the folded notebook paper and paused. His name was scrawled on it, Keith’s handwriting instantly recognized. He glanced toward the door and then opened the folder, a dozen or so notes falling to the desk. He sifted through them, all bearing his name except one.

Happy Birthday.

Shiro held his breath as he chose that one to unfold.

‘Dear Shiro,  
I had planned to write you a birthday letter pretty much when you told me how long the Kerberos mission would be. I was bummed because it would be the first time I’d get to spend your actual birthday with you. I was going to write what we could do for your next one.  
But now I’m writing to you because you’re gone. I still believe you’re out there, somewhere. The Garrison wants everyone to believe you made a mistake. I know better. It’s wrong. It’s all wrong. You should be here. I should be making my way up there and finding you but I lost my chance.  
I’m writing to you on your birthday alone in the desert. It’s funny though because everywhere I look I see you. Our rides, our talks, watching the stars. I can still hear your voice when I think of the times you told me the stories of constellations.   
To be honest though, I thought about you a lot before you left.   
I think I might be in love with you.  
Wow, it’s kinda weird writing that out. And still scary, even if you’ll never see this. Can’t imagine I’d actually have the guts to give you all these letters. At first they were a way to cope. Garrison psychology at it’s finest. Now it’s just a way to talk to you. Or myself. Both, probably.  
I am in love with you. I just want you back. If I ever get a chance to have you in my life again I swear I’ll protect you.  
And I promise to make sure you have a good birthday next time.   
So whenever you are, don’t give up. Keep fighting. I know you’re strong enough to face anything.   
Love,  
Keith’

Shiro let out a shaky breath as he finished the letter. He swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat and barely registered the way his vision blurred. “Keith…”

“Yeah?” Shiro’s head shot up. Keith had come in through the now open door, carrying a box of tools. He wasn’t looking Shiro’s way yet. He should put the letter down. Stuff it and the others back in the folder but he was frozen. Staring at Keith as he put the box down. “Shiro?” He turned and finally looked Shiro’s way. There was a flash of concern but his eyes caught the paper.

“Keith.” Shiro tried again. 

“Of course you’d read that one…”. Keith frowned and moved closer, taking the paper from Shiro’s hand. He sucked a lip between his teeth. “I was young. You were you. I had a little crush. Figured you kinda already knew.”

He had. Or had suspected, at least. Adam liked to give him a hard time about it. Shiro felt Keith still might be harbored something for him after reuniting. And Shiro had felt it too, had wanted to talk to him about it once the threat was over but, well, he died. It really put a damper on things.

“It doesn’t matter.” Keith continued. “I’ll be out of your hair soon.”

Wait. What? 

“What?” 

“I’m packing up the shack because I’m moving to Daibazaal.” Keith folded the paper back and stared down at it. “Krolia already made arrangements for me. My place is with the Blades, not...here. I can do some good out there, Shiro.”

“You can do good here too, Keith. As a Blade too.”

“I need to move on!” Shiro startled at the outburst. “Shiro, there’s nothing for me here. You’ve made that clear.”

“Me? What are you talking about?”

“The Black Lion. Before we left Earth to fight you said to spend time with those you loved. I thought finally, finally! We’d be able to talk about everything. Stuff like this.” He held the note up. “About the connection I felt with you while on the astral plane. About your memories through the clone. Dammit, I thought at the very least my best friend would want to spend time with me and Black.” Keith wiped his eyes. “I waited until almost midnight, right there on top of black. The only person I saw was Lance who looked ridiculous and wanted to despair about his love life.”

“Keith, I—“

“No. Then Clear Day. Another break, another opportunity to spend time together. Just as friends even. I wasn’t going to talk about any of this. I just wanted to be with you and I ended up stuck on a ride with Hunk! No offense to Hunk, he's an amazing guy but it wasn’t exactly what I was hoping for. I still hear that song in my nightmares, Shiro.”

“I’m sorry.” Shiro hung his head. “Keith, I’m so sorry. I wanted to spend time with you. Both of those times.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Because I was scared. I’d been gone for so long. You’d been gone too. You changed and you were so amazing. I had put you through so much. I can still remember that fight and I kept thinking I didn’t deserve you. Then we came back to Earth and my head was a mess. I pushed to get by day by day. I wanted to wait until everything was settled before I told you I loved you.”

If the situation wasn’t so serious and emotionally vulnerable for Shiro he would’ve laughed at how big Keith’s eyes got.

“What?”

“I thought of you while working on the Atlas that day. While I was in meetings with Sam and Iverson. I imagined us out here, in the desert, just...being. I nearly followed you on Clear Day but the fight wasn’t over and I began thinking you didn’t feel like that anymore. We’d fallen into this weird work relationship, is the best way I can describe it.”

There was a pause and Shiro’s heart hammered in his chest. He felt sweat trickle down his back, the heat still lingering as the sun began to set outside. 

“I don’t. I don’t have a crush on you anymore.” Ouch. There it was. “It’s so much more than that. You’re it for me, Shiro. So I thought...I thought it would help if I left. Keep my distance and all that.”

Hope. There was hope again.

“Keith, I love you. I want to talk about all those things with you. Starting with this: I won’t keep you from going to Daibazaal. That doesn’t mean I’m giving up on this and what this could be for us. But don’t make a decision like that based on me. If you go, I’ll be there every chance I get. I’ll write you letters. Well, messages, but you get my point. I want this. I want you. Please, give me another chance to get this right.”

Shiro moved toward him but it was Keith who closed the distance, arms going around him. 

They spent most of the night talking, maybe some kissing and more here and there. They were late to the test run, dressed in day old clothes and still damp from a shared shower before their meeting. Keith did keep his decision to go to Daibazaal but delayed his departure. Shiro took a vacation and they spent a week in the shack together. The last evening Shiro and Keith baked an early and belated birthday cake. It was the best not quite birthday Shiro ever had.


End file.
